✨Learning to Trust Your Creative Compass & How to Find a Healthy Critique Group✨
Plus, don't miss yesterday's two brilliant author interviews!
Happy Friday, writing friends!
Yesterday’s podcast episode had two brilliant author interviews. One with internationally bestselling author, Beth O’Leary, author of The Name Game. And the other with Toronto’s own Kate Hilton, author of City of the Muse. Make sure you catch up on those!
We have two excellent author essays today. The first is from Lori Gold who’s the author of Kiss, Marry, Kill. She’s penned a wonderful essay titled Kiss, Marry, or Kill Your Career? Learning to Trust Your Creative Compass:
“When INCITING INCIDENT happens, CHARACTER(s) have to overcome OBSTACLE to complete QUEST because of STAKES otherwise CONSEQUENCES happen.
You didn’t know it, but you’ve just signed up for PREMISE 101!
As followers of The Shit No One Tells You About Writing know, the hook primes the reader for the story that’s about to be told. It piques our interest, lays out why we should care, and shows what makes this story unique. I am a creative writing instructor, so, class, shall we use today as a teaching moment? I’m game!
How’s this for a one-line premise?
When unexpected agent notes recommend a page-one rewrite, a newly signed but previously published author must learn to trust her gut in order to go on submission and have the breakout book she craves or risk the end of her writing career.”
Laura Vogt, author of In the Great Quiet has written a thought-provoking essay titled Demand Kindness: When to Ignore Feedback and How to Find a Healthy Critique Group:
“I needed a group that pushed me to keep going—to revise, experiment, chase my voice—not one that shut me down. Writers are taught to accept criticism. But there’s a difference between critique and cruelty. A healthy group challenges you without destroying your desire to write.”
Keep reading to discover what she’s learned.
That’s all for now. Thanks for reading! ❤️
The Shit No One Tells You About Writing Team
P.S. Still not sure about upgrading to paid? Check out our Tuesday Teaser below to see what you’re missing!
This Week’s Podcast✨🎙️✨
This week on the podcast (listen to it here or watch it on YouTube!) we’ve got a double author interview you don’t want to miss! Bestselling author Beth O’Leary breaks down her signature approach to writing high-concept, emotionally grounded romance—starting with a compelling “what if” hook and building outward into layered characters, structure, and setting. She shares how The Name Game evolved from a simple premise into a complex, multi-POV narrative with intentional use of diaries, emails, and dual timelines to deepen tension and deliver surprising twists. Beth also dives into craft essentials like differentiating character voice, managing pacing across timelines, and why first drafts are meant to be messy. From false starts and massive rewrites to the power of immersive world-building (even in contemporary fiction), this interview is a masterclass in trusting the process, refining your craft, and turning raw ideas into deeply satisfying stories.
“I think the dream is that you make it look effortless, right? But I am certainly not a writer who writes effortlessly. I delete tens, if not hundreds of thousands of words for every book that I write, partly because I am a writer who learns through writing. I think this frustrates me about myself and I’ve had to sort of come to accept it, that I can’t always go in knowing what I’m doing and sometimes it’s better not to try because I’m just wasting time.”
- Beth O’Leary
More information about Beth can be found on her website. She’s also on Instagram!
Next up, author Kate Hilton shares how City of the Muse grew from a collision of real-world academic scandals and archival discoveries into a richly layered dual-timeline mystery spanning Egypt and modern-day Toronto. Drawing on her lifelong fascination with archaeology—and years of research into papyrology, forgotten histories, and women in early excavation work—she unpacks the craft behind balancing past and present narratives, sustaining momentum across timelines, and creating distinct, psychologically grounded characters. Kate also offers candid insight into the realities of long-haul writing (including six years of drafting between other projects), the push-pull between research and procrastination, and how intuition ultimately guides decisions around voice, POV, and structure—reminding writers that every story is, at its core, a mystery waiting to be uncovered.
“I love the way that you phrase that, of circling the building and figuring out what is the right thing for this book and for this character. I am quite an auditory writer, that is to say, I hear voices. I can hear it. There’s a sense in which I can hear my characters’ voices much more than I can see them.”
-Kate Hilton
More information about Kate can be found on her website. She’s also on Instagram!
Kiss, Marry, or Kill Your Career? Learning to Trust Your Creative Compass
By Lori Gold
When INCITING INCIDENT happens, CHARACTER(s) have to overcome OBSTACLE to complete QUEST because of STAKES otherwise CONSEQUENCES happen.
You didn’t know it, but you’ve just signed up for PREMISE 101!
As followers of The Shit No One Tells You About Writing know, the hook primes the reader for the story that’s about to be told. It piques our interest, lays out why we should care, and shows what makes this story unique. I am a creative writing instructor, so, class, shall we use today as a teaching moment? I’m game!
How’s this for a one-line premise?
When unexpected agent notes recommend a page-one rewrite, a newly signed but previously published author must learn to trust her gut in order to go on submission and have the breakout book she craves or risk the end of her writing career.
Do I have you dangling on the end of my fishing line? Then let’s wriggle that hook out of your mouth, plop you on board a bed of ice, and see how rocky this boat will get. (Angling for another teaching moment: this terrible metaphor is why they say “write what you know.”)
The Inciting Incident: Unexpected Agent Notes
We authors sign with agents expecting revision (or we should!). And that’s a good thing! Publishing is a fiercely competitive industry. Many of us have heard how editors are searching for more time in the day with as much luck as nabbing a Goliath Tigerfish, apparently the stealthiest of catches (it’s called “research,” friends). That means, to be acquired, our manuscripts need to be as shiny and polished as a ribbonfish (look it up). I don’t know about you, but I’ll certainly bite to tackle revisions if it swells my chances of reeling in that trophy contract (okay, I’m done).
After choosing an agent and doing two rounds of revision, my new agent and I were talking submission. I was ready. Then, plot twist! I received an email detailing brand-new changes. Another revision, not with strategic tweaks or a few extra line edits, but instead, a reframing of the book’s DNA and a shift in tone that was fundamentally counter to who I was on the page. It was a page-one rewrite.
I was a fish out of water.
The Character: Newly Signed But Previously Published Author
Yet I was on old fish, I’d swum these waters before. I had five traditionally published novels under my fin. When I decided to pivot to writing book club fiction, I did it with the goal of relaunching myself in this new space. I made the risky and heart-wrenching decision to reboot from the ground up. That meant seeking new representation. So I queried.
The Obstacle: Learn to Trust Her Gut
My agent search was a little unusual because I had two finished manuscripts—the result of a deep dive into the book club fiction space, studying the best-sellers, generating high-concept premises, and writing, rewriting, and polishing for a couple of years. I queried with one of those novels (I listen to TSNOTYAW too!). But in my conversations with agents, I was open about having two available. This led to discussions of which novel was the more strategic choice to pursue first. All but one of the agents I spoke with thought we should lead with the novel that became my 2025 Harper Collins release, ROMANTIC FRICTION. The novel is about a best-selling author who discovers another author has used AI to write in her style and instead of being canceled, it’s embraced. They thought (and I agreed), that we would be at the forefront of fiction tackling AI, and who knew if this was just a fad that would disappear (hahahaha). Yet one agent I clicked with on every other factor believed the smarter play was KISS, MARRY, KILL (releasing April 7 from Harper Collins about three women who play a spin on the game and wake up in an alternate universe having to live out their choices).
We had thoughtful conversations about this strategy, and though I remained hesitant, I found myself thinking: They must know better than I do. This is their job. Trust their gut, not mine.
The Quest: Go on Submission
Revisions with your agent are a normal part of the lead-up to submission, which is why the editorial vision of an offering agent is a key piece of “the call.” As authors, we must feel confident that the agent’s editorial vision matches our own. Or if it’s different, that it’s one we truly believe in and are excited to make happen.
My pre-submission revisions with my new agent were collaborative and productive. Our creative compasses were aligned, exactly as I’d hoped from our initial conversations. Which is why the shift that came with the new round of notes rattled me so much.
The Stakes: Breakout Book She Craves
I received multiple offers of representation (note: you have no idea how hard it is to not insert a “luckily” before “received”…thanks imposter syndrome).
I was open about my desire to achieve a higher level of success, to have a breakout book, to be a best-selling author. For the advance, yes, because I am a results-oriented writer and I’m done apologizing for it. Too often we, women especially, feel uncomfortable giving voice to our ambition, to the things we are working our yoga pants off for. And that includes a salary commensurate with our work.
But when it comes to publishing, the money isn’t only money. Advances, in my experience, have a direct correlation to the amount of inhouse support allocated to promoting your novel. And that inhouse support has a direct correlation to visibility among booksellers, librarians, celebrity book clubs, film agents, readers—basically everyone. Visibility is an essential piece of achieving the sales figures the publisher needs to offer on your next book. Low sales figures also make it harder for a new publisher to take a chance on you. This is the brutal cycle of publishing. So that breakout book I craved actually meant this: achieving a sustainable career as an author. That was what was at stake.
The Consequences: End of Her Writing Career
When those unexpected notes landed in my inbox, I was unprepared. There were no rules for this. Refusing seemed arrogant, reckless, and potentially career-ending. So we talked, we brainstormed, we compromised, and yet the fundamental shift in direction and tone still felt wrong. Still…They’re the experts. They must be right. Trust their gut, not mine.
I made my revision outline and dove in. Or tried to, but with every word I erased and typed, I felt as though I were betraying something or someone (that turned out to be me).
The problem wasn’t that the notes were “wrong.” They would certainly lead to a book, perhaps even a great one. Someone could do it. But that someone wasn’t me.
After more conversations, it became clear there was only one choice: I let the representation go.
Yes, it was terrifying. Yes, I worried the other agents wouldn’t still be interested. Yes, I wondered if I had just torpedoed my best shot at the breakout book I craved. But here’s what I learned: even as a results-oriented writer, sometimes you have to trust your gut.
To be honest, I’m not sure I’d have walked away as a younger writer (younger both in age and in experience). I had the benefit of trusted writer friends who knew me, and their counsel was invaluable.
Yet so was the voice inside my own head. The one that told me that, after selling and traditionally publishing five novels in six years, teaching dozens of creative writing classes, and editing countless manuscripts, I not only had experience in the world of writing but perhaps more importantly in me as a writer.
I know my strengths, my weaknesses, and how to work with them to tell the story I want to tell. My writing voice and style are intrinsically me. Trying to slip into someone else’s will always lead to inferior work. That doesn’t mean everyone will love the stories I tell and the voice I use to tell them. And that’s okay. Even if means I don’t get that breakout book.
Yet when I do, I know it’ll have come from me realizing that trusting my gut wasn’t the risk, ignoring it was.
Demand Kindness: When to Ignore Feedback and How to Find a Healthy Critique Group
By Laura Vogt
There’s a critique rule writers don’t talk about: Cruel feedback is useless feedback.
A writing workshop once shut me down from writing for years. Not because the feedback was honest—because it was merciless. Now, four and a half years and 1,852,000 critiqued words later, my writing group still meets every other week. Yes, I checked the math. Thirty thousand words a month—split four ways—adds up over the years.
In September of 2021, Bianca matched the four of us, and it’s genuine magic. We’ve cheered each other on, shared publishing highs and lows, and continued reading each other’s words month after month. I have no doubt we’ll still swap pages in a decade.
But that kind of group isn’t ordinary. I’ve had debilitating experiences in the writing community: beta feedback that still haunts me, writer chats that left me anxious, workshops that made me question whether I should be writing at all. In my early twenties, I attended a prestigious summer program. Incredible, yes—but I walked away believing my writing was awful. My prose wonky nonsense. That I was odd, strange, embarrassing.
And spoiler: I am odd, strange, embarrassing. Sometimes my prose is wonky nonsense.
I needed a group that pushed me to keep going—to revise, experiment, chase my voice—not one that shut me down. Writers are taught to accept criticism. But there’s a difference between critique and cruelty. A healthy group challenges you without destroying your desire to write. Here’s what I’ve learned:
Kindness is not optional in critique.
Three Signs a Group isn’t Right for You
They are unkind.
This one is simple: rude feedback is useless.
Critique should sharpen your writing, not silence it. There is no situation where you or your work should be treated without respect and dignity. If a group starts to feel like high school mean girls—run. Fast.
Writing culture sometimes glorifies harsh critique, as if pointing out flaws equals intelligence. The purpose of a critique group is to share feedback—and to learn how to receive criticism. Writers are told to grow thicker skin, but cruelty has no place in art.
TLDR: If feedback lacks kindness, throw it out.
You leave smaller than when you arrived.
A writing group should send you back to the page. Maybe overwhelmed, hopefully challenged. But empowered and excited to revise. If they shut you down: find new friends.
If you feel lost or uninspired, this doesn’t mean the group is unhealthy. Writing is vulnerable. It will take time to find those who know how to communicate with you. Honesty welded with encouragement requires a careful balance.
TLDR: A good writing group inspires you to write.
They’re trying to rewrite your book.
Critique should sharpen your vision—not replace it.
My critique partners and I write different genres, but we share similar values about storytelling, about character, stakes, worldbuilding, and prose. If I had joined a group focused on fast-paced romantasy, they might stare at my pages and ask, But where’s the plot? And do we really need another sunset description?
And honestly—fair.
My writing partners challenge me on stakes, pacing, narrative arcs. They call me out when my descriptions spiral into excess. But they understand the kind of story I’m trying to write—and help me find my way when I become lost.
TLDR: A good writing group guides you back to your book.
For a critique group to work, there must be a mutual understanding and agreement on what makes a good story. It’s truly hard to find—and worth its weight in gold.
Three Tips about When to Ignore Feedback
Even in a healthy group, feedback quickly piles up. Suddenly you’re confused by layers of swarming possibilities. How do you untangle which notes to keep—and which to ignore?
Know the heart of your book.
If you don’t understand your story yet, every suggestion will sound equally convincing—or confusing. Feedback only works when you recognize what you’re trying to build.
This clarity comes with time. After enough meetings, you’ll instinctively diagnose which notes strengthen your story and which dilute it. My gut screams when something is off: That edit solves their problem, not the book’s problem.
TLDR: Know your book before you try to fix it.
Look for the note beneath the note.
Even if a suggestion doesn’t feel right, it usually signals a problem. Your writing partners might propose the wrong fix—but they’ve still noticed something off.
When my agent and editor flags an issue, I always try their idea. Sometimes it’s the right solution, sometimes not. Sometimes I find another way to resolve the note. But their comment always reveals an area that needs work.
TLDR: The suggestion may be wrong—but there’s still a problem.
Choose your battles.
Publishing is collaborative. You must be able to receive feedback and revise your work. But at the end of the day: It’s your book.
Sometimes you fight for a phrase, a character choice, a quiet moment others want to rush past. Learning when to stand your ground is part of becoming a writer.
TLDR: Learn when to revise—and when to hold the line.
Three Places to Search for Writing Partners
Finding the right group takes time. You may stumble through a few awkward or ineffective workshops before discovering your people. But the search is worth it. A harmful critique group is worse than no group at all. The right one will change your writing life.
Try:
Local writing meetups at libraries or indie bookstores
Online writing communities where you can swap pages with writers you connect with
Structured matchmaking programs like Bianca’s Beta Reader Match Up
My critique partners and I have read nearly two million words of each other’s work. We’ve celebrated book deals, mourned rejections, and endlessly dissected narrative arcs. Every other week, we show up with pages.
Your people are out there. Find the writers who challenge your writing—but never your worth.
Tuesday Teaser 😉
Monday is Shooting the Shit day which you never want to miss as Carly and CeCe continue to blow our minds with all their publishing insights. 🤯
In Tuesday’s Meet Your Dream Agent profile, we chat with Alexa Stark from Writers House. Alexa was one of the incredible speakers at this year’s Deep Dive Virtual Retreat so you especially want to hear what she has to say about about discovering brilliant writers in her slush pile! 👀 She also shares a near-perfect query letter from one of her clients!!! Who doesn’t want to see that?
Camille Pagan, author of Dog Person, pens an excellent essay titled Confessions of a Former Feedback Addict:
“The life of a novelist is filled with feedback: good and bad, solicited and random. While authors talk a lot about bracing for impact, even rave reviews can be overwhelming. Especially if you believe others’ opinions are most important when it comes to your work.
I know, because I spent years on the emotional rollercoaster that is being overly invested in what people think.”
Keep reading for her advice about hard-won self-trust and the secret to staying in the game that is publishing.
Lori Gold, author of Kiss, Marry, Kill writes a follow up piece from today’s edition titled Trusting Your Gut: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Signing with an Agent.
“I know what you’re thinking. The captain behind the wheel of the esteemed vessel that is The Shit No One Tells You About Writing has made an oops. Ask yourself? A typo, clearly. Isn’t “the call” all about questions to ask the agent? To ask their clients? Isn’t the offer of representation supposed to be about them?
It is, but if it’s only about them, that could be a mistake”
In Tuesday’s video, Riss M. Nielson, author of The Bridge Back to You, explains how POV choices shape tension, pacing, and reader experience. It’s a must watch!
Finally, Kara McDowell, author of The Write Off, drops some truth bombs in her Q&A:
“Rejection is something that happens to my work, creativity is something that happens within me. I’m in control of it.”
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an exclusive newsletter on Tuesdays featuring bonus author Q&As and other exclusive content from industry experts
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monthly bonus podcast episodes, AND
regular Ask Me Anythings / Q&As with Carly, CeCe, and Bianca Marais.
If that doesn’t kickstart your writing journey, we don’t know what will!
That’s all for this week’s news! If you enjoyed it, why not share the love? 🥰
Tune in again next week for more invaluable wisdom from our wonderful hosts! Until then, happy writing! 😍
❤️ The Shit No One Tells You About Writing Team
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Cece Lyra is a literary agent at Wendy Sherman Associates. If you’d like to query CeCe, please refer to the submission guidelines at www.wsherman.com. Carly Watters is a literary agent at P.S. Literary Agency, but her work on this podcast is not affiliated with the agency, and the views expressed by Carly on this podcast are solely that of her as a podcast co-host and do not necessarily reflect the views, opinions, policies, or position of P.S. Literary Agency.
I really like what Laura Vogt said in her article Demand Kindness: When to Ignore Feedback and How to Find a Healthy Critique Group: '…Writing culture sometimes glorifies harsh critique, as if pointing out flaws equals intelligence…'
If a beta reader doesn't make a suggestion or 10, I would find another beta reader. It's better, I think, to have more than one. That way you absolutely know when there's a problem if two of them cite the same issue. On the one offs I think hard before I change anything. Often when I do change something it's not what the beta reader suggested, but they pointed out an issue that required solving.